Heat

The Heat makes me so sleepy. I capitalize Heat because it seems to have a destructive, cruel mind of it's own.

Speak soon when I'm not sweating my heart and soul out.

Watching a Thunderstorm

Waiting and watching a thunderstorm. Watching and waiting to capture the exact moment the lightening striked under pouring rain. It's so indescribable. Pure fun at it's simplest form. The thunderclouds were right overhead while I was taking photos.

Speak Soon.

Today I Saw a Mexican Get Arrested

I still think the bus driver was rather racist... The Mexican man had every right to be angry and swear at the driver (who sounded British) but maybe the Mexican guy DID try and sneak in through the back door? But when he got on the bus, he did pay the bus fare. The driver didn't need to call for Translink security. Even after he did, he didn't have to call for more after the Mexican dude was finished ranting his anger at him, "fucking faggit. motherfuck'n racist bastard... fucking faggit. Why don't you go back to where you fuckin came from, fuckin' faggot... I bet if I was white this wouldn'tve happend fucken racist... I'll sit here and wait for the fucken security, fuckin racist asshole..." And so forth. Sigh.

Who's to blame? Nobody knows. But they really didn't need 5 security + police cars to show up for one mexican dude.

Other than that, it was a pretty good day :) Lots of art. Lots of Gastown and discovery (excuse the cheese)

End Rant.

How Kind of You.

"She seems like a bitch, though.

A really cute bitch."

Drawing Party!

Art, food, drinks, attractive people = Fun.

So good.

It Will Never End.

Hey Baby, Can You Bleed Like Me

I was doing some thinking on the bus today.

Do we hurt ourselves because we are afraid that others will be the ones to harm us?

We cut ourselves, attempt suicide, commit suicide, abuse alcohol and drugs, wallow in self-pity - all in attempt to mask these fears. We keep our mind distracted, busy with self-incflicted pain to keep our mind from reaching the ultimately universal truth:

We are terrified of others toppling our walls, touching a nerve, cracking our shells, breaking our hearts.

Then, I decided to give humankind more credit. We aren't all cowards who run from reality.

Do we hurt ourselves make ourselves feel better? Is it because we need the assurance that someone out there still cares?

We feel lonely in our rooms in the middle of the night, with only our thoughts. Do we do these foolish things to get attention? To be noticed? To feel reassured that somebody cares and worries about you. It's kind of selfish, but I know it happens.

Do we hurt ourselves because we fear change?

We purposely stumble and scrape our knees - buying us time to 'nurse our wounds' and enlongating our stay in the same place. Not wanting to move foward, into the unknown. A social excuse to not deal with our problems and reality. Do we believe that, if things don't change - if things stay the same, we will be happier? Familiartiy breeds comfort. Comfort is security. Is security love, though?

When I was home, I came to the conclusion that we are born to be afraid. We are scared of being hurt. So, we injure ourselves to know what it feels like - hoping if the time comes - it'd only hurt so much, and we'd be used to it.

It's never the same - because you don't see it coming. That's what's most painful.

Tell me, are you afraid?

Enough of that. I was just thinking.

End Rant.

Lines.

A lonely post for a lonely girl.

Speak soon.

Valium.

I love lying.

OverheardinNewYork

overheardinnewyork.com

Some funny stuff. :)

Workin' away on some work for my mother.

Speak soon lovely.

Catherine and Christie

ECU Artist: Catherine

Other student artist: Christie from Cariboo Hill

:) it's going good. I'll upload pics of our work in progress soon. :)

Speak soon.

Find Your Way Home

Oyyyyyy I start work tommorrow. Uber nervous. :S

Well, I had a plan:

*I was planning on throwing out/moving/selling my bed to make my usable room space twice as large. I'd sleep on some sort of mat I could easily roll up and tuck away in my closet. Then I'd have an easel and other drawers set up so I can work on my art peacefully in my own room until the break of dawn if need be. Unfortunately, my mother does not agree. End of Story.

Le Sigh

End Rant.

So I Took Off on My Bicycle.

I watched Up today with Phuong, IN 3D! :) I practically bawled through the whole movie. Hahah so touching and cute and sweet. Or maybe it's just because I haven't gone out in almost two weeks and I'm going insane. I do believe the later is much of the cause.

Hmmm so I got the job at the Burnaby Arts Council, I'll be working 9-5pm Mon to Fri. Until the 24th of July. :\ I don't know how good the pay is, but I can only expect minimum wage. (Because, after all, artists are quite poor) But I don't mind, I just hope the weather clears up by then :) I'm slightly nervous because my painting skills are quite poor... I hope its nothing too complicated! And I need to find more stude

nts to teach piano to - such good pay. I'm getting paid $15/hour for one 10 year-old student on Saturdays :) Exciting world of work haha.

Anywhos, I should really clean up my damn room. So messy! Laters.

The only piece I finished over the summer ... :( Fail!

End Rant.

I Kinda Love the Smell of Ammonia

I kinda love the smell of ammonia.

Anyways, I went to the pool today after painting with Peter for most of the day.

I accidentally split one of my toenails pushing off the side of the pool D: Hurts like a bitch when I tap it by accident.

I'm so stuck on my painting it's ridiculous. And I want to watch UP so badly. :(

Yesterday at Siena's BBQ :) Yummm.

P.S. I changed my mind, Megan Fox is quite the hot stuff.

End Rant.

Heads Will Roll

I just read the funniest thing a girl wrote on fb, (she doesn't know I'm stealing her quote, but it's so damn cute.)

"im afraid that when you go to your asian country you're going to come back with chopsticks in your hair and you won't like me anymore."

:) Doesn't that just put a smile on your face? However racist it may be, it's pretty damn cute.

Anywhos, busy week coming up, and I finally found a bloody a job teaching kids piano on the weekends yay! Go Emily! And I slept until 11 today D: What a waste of time. I should go to bed earlier. But I did get some sketches done for council shirts next year :) Hurrah!

I need to work more on my art. By the by, Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood is fucken amazing. Guuuhhhh, that woman is a genius.

And I do so wonder when I'll be let off house arrest.

End Rant.

Ah oui, Comme ça

Today I killed a spider. (Drowned - if you wish to be nit-picky and specific.) I feel quite terribly sad.

Speak soon while I mourn.

Wow my hair was so long back in March D:

End Rant.

Day out?

I kinda love painting in an uncrowded room. 

Only myself and Peter in 310! :)

So relaxing. Just myself with a huge stretch of canvas, bottles and canisters of paint, multitudes of brushes, colours, the distinct smell of gesso and acrylics, and the desire to make something mind-bending. Mmmmmmmmmm. :) 

I'm going to try and learn how to paint well.

"I love my mom's boyfriend, but I hate how I'm the only slanty-eyed teenager here."

^The text message I accidentally sent to my mom's boyfriend - it was meant for my own friend.. :( So fail.

I finished Sophocles' Three Theban Plays, my lord, they're so good!

I'm gonna go shower,

Speak soon.

I'm Very Fond of Tea

Happy Canada Day! or as my clever friend said... Happy Canada D(eh)! Har har har

Anyways, finally let out of the house today - multicultural family dinner over at Rory's mum's place. We were the only Chinese people out of half-african-american folk and mostly caucasian people. :P

It was slightly boring.... I played with their dog, Bella, more than anything really.

That's about it.

And this machine,

it's fed up with beating.

End Rant.