We Unfortunately Don't Sell that Shade of Green

I get jealous easily. This is going to sound like The Confessions of a Closeted Scorpio. Anyways, I get jealous. Yes, who doesn't? But it's really the only vice I feel on a regular basis. I prefer it when things that I believe are mine - stay (wholly and entirely) in my possession. No sharing, no sneaking out in the middle of the night, no secrets, no naughty little endeavors. I guess I am a little possessive when it comes to belongings. Hm, belongings... that is an interesting word... to belong to someone...! Some-ONE.

Continuing my rant: what feeling is it that you get when you are aware you are jealous? To be aware of our physical symptoms usually allows ourselves to trace the path up into our dark little psychological corner (do I sound like Freud yet?) of suppressed or contained feelings. I guess envy dominates that dark, dusty corner of mine.

Physically, I get this almost acidic feeling in the pit of my stomach, very unsettling I know, I'm always afraid I'm experiencing an ulcer or something along those lines. Thankfully it's only overwhelming jealousy! Har har har. After that odd burning sensation in my gut, I get all light-headed and feel sharp tension in my chest. I find it fascinating how our body reacts to certain mental states. Completely astounds me.

Seethe - is a good word to describe these physical symptoms of envy. It takes me quite a few deep breaths to rid that unpleasant feeling. I don't enjoy being envious for your information. It's a very unwanted emotion that I experience frequently. How unfortunate. I sound so fucking cynical right now hahaha. Oh well, this is a blog, no? Read what you will. If you feel as if my negative energy is harshing on your mellow...then fuck off princess. I never get the opportunity to rant, vent, complain, whine to anybody properly. Give me a break ladies and gentlemen. I am a little emo on the inside. :P

Us Scorpios are supposed to be (typically) INTENSE. Erm, I'm pretty chillaxed myself but sometimes I wonder if I just push back all this powerful/negative/driving energy??? I don't really believe in astrology/horoscopes, but sometimes I really do wonder because some key words I've read over numerous astrological reports over the years reflect some of my (hidden) characteristics. What the fuuuuck am I even talking about anymore.... I don't trust people easily, I do hold grudges, I am vengeful at times and so forth... Do all of these things add up to "intense"? Is intense even a proper word to describe a person? I'd imagine an intense person to be quite standoff-ish and snobby. Oh gawd, am I? Oh man, I don't make any sense at all. I'm just thinking about that one person. Damn.

I'm actually putting off homework to type this haha, I can't concentrate on anything until I finish analyzing myself. I am feeling increasingly reliant on writing to relieve stress, it actually works! Thanks Dr. Tran :P Har har har.

WOW I spent too much time on this, I should finish up my Art History page and 10-minute drawings for Ms John... Okee Dokes, here's today random picture:

It's really random, I know, but interesting, no? :\


End Rant.